The chicken or the egg causality dilemma is commonly stated as the question “which came first: the chicken or the egg?. This dilemma stems from the observation that all chicken hatch from eggs and all chicken eggs are laid by chickens. It has been a debatable question for ages.

Similar is the case when one has to decide whether you love your mother or your father more. I pondered over this question while looking through my window on this Mothers Day. No doubt the mother is the first teacher of the child. She bears the brunt and suffers from sleepless nights looking after the child even at the cost of her health. If there is no help from mothers’ or mother in-laws’ side, it becomes more difficult. Parents and in-laws can not travel these days, even if they want to come.

I was lucky to born at an age when there was adequate help from my grandmother. I think I must have stayed in my grand parent’s home for at least three months when I was born in Hoshiarpur. I still remember the days when we kids use to have baths in the well which formed part of our ancestral maternal home. Making small toys from the burnt candles on Deepawali, the festival of lights was a source of pleasure for me. I can not recollect an incident when I was a kid of getting any rebuke from my mother who left this a mortal world almost a decade back.

Mothers Day

Mothers’ love is self-less. She will continue to love her children equally. Most mothers reply in a diplomatic way when one of the children asks his/her mother as to who is her favorite kid. One may call his mother “Biji”, “Mommy”, “Mataji”, or by any other name. But one continues to love his / her mother throughout his life. With the passage of time, the memory becomes a bit dim. But one still remembers the taste of Rajma Chawal or Paneer Bhurji she used to make for you when you went to meet her almost after three or four months.

There were hundreds of messages I received on Mothers Day. But one message which caught my fancy was: “your mother is the only person in the world who does not have time to pray for her, because she is always busy praying for you”. I feel sad when I read reports that some children have deserted their parents. These children have sent their parents to old age homes. If the parents have money they can join an Old Age Home. But what to say of those children who have the means but they are unwilling to keep their children in their well furnished homes.

The concept of staying all alone after the age of 50 is quite prevalent in advanced countries. The old people prefer to stay in this well furnished accommodation which has all the facilities. But in our country such facilities are not there. The old men and women continue to wait for a day when their son or daughter in law will come to meet them in the fag end of their life. The wait continues till the last journey of old people. Do these kids ever think about the helpless plight of their mother on Mothers Day? I think this day has no meaning for them.   Amen.

   Rajiv Bakshi

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